El Cheapo

V and I are always looking for more "family friends" that live close by. Friends we can hop on over to or invite over for dinners and at-home activities. We just don't always want to go out, spend a bunch of money on drinks and food and have to drive all the time when we have delicious cheese and crackers and fabulous wine right at home. Plus having neighbor friends certainly has its benefits especially when I lock myself out of the house.

We're pretty convinced our neighbors are gay and financially responsible. (Yes, V zillowed the neighbors house next door to find out how much they paid and when). They also let me use their iPad to find a locksmith when I really did lock myself out of the house a few weeks ago so, nice enough people. V decides we should make the befriending move. Here is her suggestion.

V: "Next time you run into them outside you should say 'hi'."

Me: "Yeah, okay."

V: "We should bring over a glass of wine."

Me: *pause*

She figured this one out on her own. :)

'Mama, where do babies come from?'

One day V was showing me pictures on Facebook of her friend's new baby. She awed and swooned over how beautiful the baby was. Now, the baby boy was not this young couple's first child. They also have a daughter who is about 2 years old. This is how the conversation went.

V: "Isn't he so cute?!"

Me: "Yes, he's adorable."

V: "Here is a picture of their first daughter. She was a mistake."

Me: *pause* "Honey, people say she was an 'accident'. No baby is a mistake."

Crazy Stuff She Says

I was lucky enough to meet this spontaneous, smart and funny girl 5 years ago. I fell in love with her and "married" her. Well as married as two women can be in the state of California (I know right?).

Some things you should know about her. I don't use the term "smart" loosely here. She is a Cal (UC Berkeley) grad with a degree in Molecular Cell Biology. She went on to go to Med School and now she is a doctor. Yes, a bonafide MD and is doing her first year of residency (internship) at none other, than UCSF Med Center.

But this is not why I fell in love with her. I did so over a variety of reason for which I will not repeat my wedding vows for the whole world to read. I will, though, highlight one reason: she has this amazing aptitude to make me laugh. Most times, without meaning to. Yes, she is so funny and sometimes I cannot believe the things that come out of her mouth. You can't pay a writer enough to get this material!

So, I thought I'd share some of these V-isms with you all. My hope is that you all get a good chuckle out of it when you need a smile.